August 2, 2008
(this was emailed to me)
T’was the night before August and all through the Nation
the fans on their feet in a standing ovation
Ramirez — the baby — is off to L.A.
So who is this guy they call Jason Bay?
He bats from the right and throws that way too
And produces the home runs; he has 22
Will he ever be Manny? “Not a chance” might be true
But when he hits his first homah, we’ll all say “Manny who?”
He’ll protect our Big Papi and with Mike at his back
He’ll make up for what with Ramirez we lack:
Good defense in left field, base-running skill too
And he’ll run out the grounders unlike you-know-who
If you look at the stats, Bay’s a star on the rise
While Manny – his stature – is shrinking in size
Just look at the stats. Can you guess who is who?
AVG. HR RBI OBP SLG
Player 1: .282 22 64 .375 .519
Player 2: .299 20 68 .398 .529
(I’ll give you a hint: Good-Bye Player 2!)
With the A’s due in town, get the offense on track!
But will Papi and Bay will be a formidable attack?
At the end of the day brings an unnerving truth:
Yes, Papi and Manny were like Gehrig/Ruth
So here’s some advice from a local Sox fan
Please try to get it right if you can:
Say “Wall”; not “Green Monster”
Pronounce “Pahk” with no “R”
Produce like you’ve been doing and you’ll be a star.
The “bleachers” are in right field
Pesky’s Pole’s “down the line”
Say “I hate the Yankees” and you’ll fit in just fine.
By the way Red Sox Nation, raise your glass in a toast
Pay homage to an old friend who’s on the West Coast
He’s a friend of the Nation and a really good sport:
Thank you, thank you, oh thank you dear old friend Frank McCourt
So we hope for the best as the day turns to night
I’ll just finish my poem and turn out the light
But as I try to sleep, I turn and I toss
Jason Bay for Ramirez, Hansen, and Moss?
Did we make the right choice? Did we give up too much?
Will Jason Bay ever hit in the clutch?
I find I can’t sleep and I sit up in fright
I know Manny was wrong; God I hope Theo’s right.
But what about Manny? How hard will he play
Now playing with Nomar and Lowe in L.A?
I promise you this, there’s more to his story
As you head off to bed, say a prayer for Joe Torre!